Monday, February 15, 2010

Weather, and dating...

... are kinda one in the same. Who knew? I was chopping it up with another home girl, and she was dashing off to meet a "new new."

"New-new"- n. new acquaintance, with a potential romantic upgrade package. (HA, I guess this is what we call the prospects these days.)

The similarities between weather and dating are rather striking, (especially after a couple sips of wine and some good music). Both can't be properly foretold even with the greatest technology. Pictures, aren't enough, years of study won't get it done... there is just no way to tell when you meet someone if it's going to work, without investing some time... time you can't get back.

This brings me to my next topic, the earliest stage of dating... after 25, we call it, "the interview." Tell me that isn't the hardest part of it all.

Is there anyone out there that truly enjoys interviews? (put your hand down, you play too much) I do, when there is a flow of conversation. I've also been lucky enough to have been in both positions (pause, lol). In conversing with peers, its not an easy task. A lot of people get caught up in appearances, and false advertise instead of marketing the actual product being providing. However, there are troubles on both ends of the spectrum. I wanted this to be a simple post, but my intelligence knows nothing about being simple and the only thing short about me is my height. *wink*

Ladies-- (sisters, I love yall but it's time we stop acting like we're perfect...)

One reason we are let down often is because when we are single, we say we want one thing, and go after or end up with the exact opposite. Anyone can say anything, but your walk has to match your walk,(aka actions definitely speak louder than words) so just make sure it matches.

**cues reader to grab popcorn, its getting good**

I am not exempt.(sisters, I called you out, but only through my own self discovery) 

A while ago, I was talking to a girlfriend, and said I didn't want a boyfriend and joked about just needing a pipe layer (yep, I went there). By the time I was done listing the requirements "sir layer of that pipe needed to have", he would be a man, my man. I've been celibate for nearly 2 years and I don't care if it gets to 10 (I do, but flow with me here), I refuse to lower my standards to give some lame 5-7 minutes of fame. I'm a rare treasure, and deserve to be treated no less than that. So- now that I know what I want, I can keep it 300 (yep, I'm a overachiever),  with myself and its a great place to be. Now, I'm not saying it's all roses and calla lilies, once that bar is set girlfriends, don't you dare lower it for anyone.

Sidebar: Brothers, you're on deck. Stay tuned. 

To those of who don't know what you want yet, take your time. We tend to rush to figure out our entire lives. My list for the perfect man, is interchangeable to accommodate different personality types, and you must always keep in mind men are men. You can't demand he take on qualities that are against the very basis he was created upon. Fellas, this applies to you as well.

Fellas-- (I love you, believe me... more than I can express here, but its time...)

I understand some differences between Venus and Mars. I'll keep it simple. Don't always assume the woman can't handle what it is you want to say. Keep it 100 at all times please, some of you are single and not mentally single. Feel me on this, you're single, and concentrating on you- school, work, career, chasing dreams, (kudos, by the way.) If you meet a someone and you haven't opened your mind to the possibility, you're going to drive them away without even realizing it. I've heard some stories of brothers too focused and missing out of special women, and all cause you weren't ready? Nah son, I can't let you go out like that.

Bottom line is this, are we really ever ready? Probably not. All I'm saying brothers is, don't your life right now block your life tomorrow.

Sheesh, now back to the interview. (lol) I'm gonna keep it 100, to me, the shit is boring. You have to ask and answer all these asinine questions, because there is basic information we need to know, but every now and then you end up having a great conversation... and I mean, *Tony the tiger voice*, grrrreat conversation. <<< Find the thing that makes you shine, and strut your stuff! You have to, or someone won't appreciate the art that is you. 

Even though I find it boring as all hell, I mean the shit's like watching friggin paint dry, I don't make it seem boring. Find ways to connect with the person you're sharing information with. And nonverbal communication is so important, I could grab you as you read this and scream, "pay attention!"

I realize the rules change with the different types of venues these days, mainly the internet. There is nothing wrong with this, I'm very close with a couple people I've yet to meet in person. But when the internet is involved, I think you may need to take more time and possibly not rush the meeting in person, it's just the smart thing to do. Just take your time no matter the venue...

What's that ridiculously cliche saying? Good things come to those who wait... I'll be sure to let you all know how that goes. **cracks the eff up**

Keep it somewhere between 100 and 300.


1 comment:

  1. On point girl! To add to the reasons woman are let down in dating, a quote from a great book: "In desperate love, we always create the characters of our partners, demanding that they be what we need of them and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we create in the first place." Also...women need to stop equating their self worth to the number of men that are attracted to them at any given time. You should be confident enough in yourself that you don't need validation from a man to know you still got it. Can't wait to read what else you got. You got a reader in me. Lol


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