Saturday, October 20, 2012

Hurricane Season

For the longest time, I've sat and wondered what would become of this blog I started a couple years ago...

Tonight, I sit heavy with thoughts of many kinds. Equipped with good music and a very sober mind... a lot more brews at this hour besides coffee... like me...

Storm's brewing...

Reflection is very important to me, and when things don't make sense its often best to just stop for second and reflect. Ah, yea...that's it. Personally, I find it very relaxing. As a fiery lady, its unfortunately easy to get in your own way at times. I suffer from a few ailments, being a severe perfectionist and a firm believer in the theory of the simple are just a couple... recipe for disaster, or perfect makings of a Storm. 

Back in the day when this all started, I was in transition in many areas of life. Transition, if you are constantly seeking growth, is a permanent state. It never really ends. So, I am ALWAYS transitioning to the next level of whatever it is I am working to obtain at that moment. 

I am a bit wiser, (or older as many of you would say), and my idea as to what really matters have taken a more solid shape. But, my main theme throughout my reflection tonight is simple (like me of course), yet extremely profound.

I am happy. And, I don't mean happy like, "I woke up in a good mood today," I mean happy like Tinkerbell and her homegirls rocking out to Beyonce happy. It's a mindstate, a way of life. We sit around and ponder and figure out what we want to make us happy and let me tell you... it doesn't always arrive when you want it, but it if you're lucky and its in your cards, it will arrive when you're equipped with the tools to recognize it and accept it. (Please let that sink in.)

It could be a job, a connection with a person, a combination of the two or numerous other possibilities... (No, I am not sharing...yet) But, once you're there mentally... nothing can derail it. 

So do I have moments where I think the sky is falling? Absolutely, I'm a extremely passionate woman, who has the ability to freak out because I don't only want things to be simple, I want them to be PERFECTLY simple. Needless to say, conflict between these two concepts that were, in my opinion, never to be paired... arises often. 

This reflection came from a couple of recent revelations and conversations. I saw a question posed on a social network that asked if one could truly be happy for an ex. The answers varied, but one comment summed it up completely and perfectly. 

"Being happy for an ex or anyone else can happen regardless of the situation if you are happy with SELF."

I was like damn, I've always wished people the best even if its not with me, but yes... initially there may be a struggle depending on the situation but you have to make sure YOUR happiness in check before you can genuinely be happy for someone else.

In recent talks with someone there is always a negative tone in what's being said. It's one thing to want to be cautious, but its something deeper when you constantly seek the bad out in a person and/or situation. I sit baffled like I am telling a story, and I am happy- the story isn't perfect... but then again to me, having a story to tell at all is perfection in one of its finer hours. :)

Did I mention I am happy? Some will write statuses and will tweet to the high heavens... I'm just going to say it. There don't have to be details, names, or locations... just know that I'm speaking honest words. (Like, when do I not hello!?)

I say that to say, when someone doesn't understand your happiness....don't judge them. Just take a second to understand they aren't happy with something WITHIN. It has nothing to do with you (hopefully). As someone who has self counseled with the aid of the GREATEST of friends, your life is only going to be what you want it to be. Regardless of what happens to us, our reactions draw the path in which we are to follow. If we can tailor our reactions to lead to that happiness we crave deep down in the depths of our souls... then, the map will draw itself. That's definitely how I got here. (Along with some spontaneous decisions and passionate life choices). Easily the greatest decision I've ever made. 

So, as I leave you... I hope you didn't read into the title too much.

Next time someone says, "when it rains, it pours," just stop for a second and think if that's really a bad thing. Not all Storm's are bad. ;)