Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Confessions of a Storm...Volume: Two

I know its been a very very long time since I've been here. A LOT has happened, but I keep growing and I will not be moved! I hope all is well with everyone... 

We are all gathered here today for a special edition of Confessions of a Storm... since everyone is writing open letters, I am going to write one. I was inspired by some utter fuckery that took place on my way to school. Don't let your babies read this one lol. To those w/churrins Be inspired, and make sure you raise them to value their worth BEFORE anyone else's. 

Here's the skinny... I received a text message last night, and I was asleep. This message did come in during early booty call hours, and it said: 

"What do you have going on this week?" <------ Translation: "I'm trying to come smash when its convenient for me." 

I saw the message this morning, and sent a response saying hello and that I was asleep when the message was sent. Now for the record, I'd been contemplating some action up until this point, but wasn't sure and was looking to make the best decision for me. 

It's been roughly six and a half years since we've been anything but friends...(so he's a throwback) granted I've lived far away for a lot of those years until now. Regardless he's got some wires crossed and he doesn't have to untangle them because I am cutting them! TODAY!

A convo via text message ensued, while I was on my way to class... granted when I started driving my response time slowed down, in an attempt not to DIE while driving. This thirsty ass negroid (aka waay too pushy, damn near moody) started sending each message twice and putting on the caps lock in his messages... 0_O (tell em why u mad son? PUH-LEEZE)

I responded to all the messages, and got to the campus and got a message that said he felt like I was avoiding him, and accused me of playing games...(book coming soon: The Jumpoff who cried Boo)

WTF? *record scratch* *tires screech* If I was avoiding you, we wouldn't be having this conversation. And I don't have time or need to play games for a few reasons, but the most important one here is simply this, if I wasn't trying to be bothered, I simply wouldn't be bothered. I am not obligated to do a Delonte West thing (some of yall might not get this) I am not your girlfriend, lover, or wife. *checks for rings* *double checks who pays my bills*

Now- I became beyond pissed here because I was walking to class responding to this hot gah-bage... and my phone keeps dinging... I got into class and got another one that said of what's good now... angrily I informed Mr. Thirsty I was in class, that's what the fuck is up... the messages stopped. 

Now-- This is not a roasting session for Mr. Thirsty-- his open letter is actually quite short. And I am woman enough to accept responsibility for my actions. A long time ago, I treated him better than I should have. I gave the jumpoff, boyfriend treatment when I was around. Granted, I didn't violate the rules of the game, I knew where I stood, there wasn't a commitment of any kind, I just don't sleep around. But to sum it up- yup homie got maad interest before making the now required investments.

Does this mean he could possibly be in shock now? Now, that I am not so eager to clear my schedule for some shit that will only benefit me for an hour or two? Now that I've chosen to let him know where he falls on my to do list off rip... versus playing games with him? I don't know, nor do I give a flying farfanoogin. (Yuuup!) 

So as promised. The open letter to Mr. Thirsty, formally known as my jumpoff

Sir Thirsty: 

Despite knowing this is mostly my fault for allowing you to think you are at some level of importance, its time you recognize a few things.

Look up the definition of a jumpoff, I'll sum it up for you, you have no clout, preference, VIP status of any kind, or level of priority in my life. This means should anything go down, it will solely be because I want it to, and I will have to fit U into my schedule, only as I see fit. If I don't tag tapping that with some sort of importance... then chances are you won't hear from me. And I won't be entertaining any of your demanding requests. (ITS NOT ABOUT YOU) 

Aka: You call no shots! So, texting me twice and typing in all caps, knowing damn well you normally don't, makes you look parched! Stop it! I expect that kind of behavior only from the most basic bitches on earth... you take basicosity to a whole new level when you're a man doing it. This desperate behavior you are mistaking for being persistent is an extreme turn off and to be frank, its getting on my nerves. (SIT YO ASS DOWN)

I find it utterly hilarious that upon me returning to the same state, somehow you think your membership is still valid. It's been years, despite us being "friends" now it seems clear that you're "preserving our friendship" for your own selfish reasons. Your pass was revoked long ago brother, and your sorry application to renew it has been denied. The requirements have changed and you're no longer qualified. 

Lesson learned: If it isn't reciprocated, you're doing the most! DON'T DO IT!!!

It is important kiddies that we always respect the game while playing the games we play. Should you decide to play a game, make sure you understand the role YOU are going to play in it. That's key... if you're gonna to disrespect yourself, leave the game out of it. Though, I'd rather you respect both... 

Figure out who you are, and what makes you happy. Set the standards, and don't conform for anyone... I understand we will have to compromise, but you do that when the compromise will produce a better result.