Saturday, February 20, 2010

Rules of "Engagement" (aka: The First Date)

Tonight is extra special, as I'm typing this, the uber talented Marsha Ambrosius (formerly of Floetry) dropped a mixtape and that's what I'm listening to... sharing is caring... here you go. download here:

What are your rules of engagement? First date rules? I mean, why is the first date such a big deal? Anticipation. I think what happens on the first date will set a tone so to speak, however it shouldn't be something we practice and rehearse for. Interaction.

Keep your eye on the Storm, right through here...

Despite my very human flaw of being impatient, I've learned some things just need to occur naturally. *Epiphany taking place as I type this--despite another part of me is screaming something I'm not talking about tonight.*

I love to talk, so there would be a significant amount of conversation before I would ready to even think about a "date". What makes it a date? Honestly, cause if you're trying to be with me, you've spent time becoming my friend first and if we're chillin it's not a date... unless... we go out and something is discovered-- ah the good stuff.

The First Date: The first time two people looking to test romantic possibilities get together. No matter the venue...

Now- for me, if there has been a lot of great conversation, this could be very exciting. It usually is actually. I shared with you how passionate I am, which means I'm a feeler... what does it for me isn't what is said, but how it is said. I can feel the speaker as they speak, and you can measure their emotion attached to what they are talking about. This provides a lot of insight as to what they care about, and while I'm sitting there listening, and interacting, my brain is working and seeing what I can relate to. For relating needs to happen if there is be a relationship At this point, you're chilling, the only thing you need to do is be yourself. (If you've kept it between 100-300 during the early talks, like I've suggested before. *smile*) With me? Chill and relate, if there is something you want to know, ask... this is an extension of the interview, but since this is in person... the possibilities are... endless.

Minor confession, I'm Storm and I'm addicted to interpersonal interaction. I need it... I gotta have it...

I don't have any rules of "engagement". I can not create a set of rules to hold suitors to for a few reasons. Mainly because all suitors aren't the same, and I'll appreciate them for different reasons...

See example:

I appreciate exhibit a because he is and always has been determined to be himself, imperfections and all. (Trust me, I know. lol)
I appreciate exhibit b because of the wild combinations of contradictions he is... wait... shit... that sounds just like me... (damn girl, focus)

Both are currently in transitional stages in their lives- yet aren't getting lost in the sauce, ya dig. There is nothing like having front row seats watching a man grow... (have mercy *waves hand*)

And- as a hopeless (and I mean completely hopeless) romantic, I don't have rules because there are no rules in love. You wouldn't believe some of the ish... moving on...

If you take me out, and something happens?  It happens because we wanted it to happen, it doesn't change anything, at least it shouldn't. (this is where keeping it 300 works best)  **Warning: If you are letting everyone smash, or you're trying to smash always on the first night, you're hopeless and a slut.** Let's clear up some things. Ladies, stop treating all men the same, you want them to see them as the queen you are, but want to treat court jesters, princes, servants, and kings the same? No, boo it's not going to happen for you. If you are going to have rules, I suggest they be interchangeable based on the personality you are involving yourself with. Also- if there is a mutual chemistry (umph, umph UMPH) don't deny yourself because of a reason that doesn't involve both parties(aka your personal insecurities). If you're dealing with a REAL man, he's not going to think any less of you because you blew each other away and just had to experience the complete package. We must be confident in ALL our actions, and yes even the unorthodox ones. The men get a pass here, because they tend to be attracted to women who stand out naturally in a situation, so they tend not to treat us all the same. (Fellas, don't be afraid to leave the sis some cool points in the comment box) *shameless plug*

What are your rules of engagement, how many waves need to crash before you'll let them ride the wave? Or do you let the seas swirl with the atmosphere until there is a Category 5 on the horizon?

I'll share this last tidbit... I'm no weather girl... but in my forecast something is stirring these waters... for my personal sanity, if this gets to a Category 5... call the Storm Watchers, they'll know what to do... I on the other hand, *sigh* for the first time ever, not so much.

Until next time.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Confessions of a Storm...Volume: One

I'd like to take a moment to welcome you to confessions... of a Storm...this Storm. Me. This is what will happen when I want to share, reflect, recap, vent, seek, and perhaps find... all while you're sleeping.  

I'm going to set this up for you... great day, simple, got kinda tired, then the second wind showed up after the great convo... there is nothing like a good conversation.... damn...

I've downloaded every Donell Jones album (for the ??th time) (friggin ex escaped with my music collection, and yall know...)

**Now playing,the life goes on album**

Couldn't be more fitting... life does definitely go on, and it is going on as I'm typing this... (lawda mercy) There's something about heading in a new direction, making new friends, cleaning out the closet so to speak, allowing relationships to develop as they need to. Transition. I feel really good about a lot right now, ironically in a time many on the outside would think, my life is a train wreck. Growth.  

I want to share something, the best thing you can ever, ever do for yourself is... YOU!!! I don't mean being selfish, and inconsiderate. I just mean making sure your best interest is the top priority before anyone else. This includes everyone except the babies, actually not even, cause if YOU aren't together, you won't be able to hold it together even for them. Parents: you'll have to be that much better with your time management skills.  

I'm finding my brain creating a "mental black box" as I'm typing... which is odd, seeing as I'm an open book... let's just say there is a Storm brewing... **wink** (can't tell the story-without investigating the lead)

^^^(can't leave yall hanging) one word should sum it up... captivation.

Can I talk to yall for a second? I've noticed many of you that have read, "Sincerely, Storm", thus far are friends of mine. I've received unbelievable feedback and I'm honored, and completely blown away. (This is easier than calling some of you, lol) I love you guys, I'm humbled and extremely gracious. 

I guess you're looking for a confession, like something deep, profound... thought invoking... okay. 

I'm going to describe what fuels me, especially now. Passion. It sets me free, completely. This Storm is a passionate one, if I love you, I'm going to love you hard, if I fight, I'm going to fight hard (keep in mind a lot of thought goes on before deciding to enter one of these). Passion. This is what keeps me going at the end of the day, this provides the right amount of "fuck it" to make sure bull doesn't win... ever. Passion. My drive comes from it, my new stride comes from it... Passion. The utterly raw desire to do something, and believing I can do it and love it is my passion. 

Try to derail it, and you're outta here. This. is. non-negotiable.

Coming Soon- Rules of  "Engagement", the first date.

My bed looks amazing right now. Sending shooting stars ♥ (make a wish)


Monday, February 15, 2010

Weather, and dating...

... are kinda one in the same. Who knew? I was chopping it up with another home girl, and she was dashing off to meet a "new new."

"New-new"- n. new acquaintance, with a potential romantic upgrade package. (HA, I guess this is what we call the prospects these days.)

The similarities between weather and dating are rather striking, (especially after a couple sips of wine and some good music). Both can't be properly foretold even with the greatest technology. Pictures, aren't enough, years of study won't get it done... there is just no way to tell when you meet someone if it's going to work, without investing some time... time you can't get back.

This brings me to my next topic, the earliest stage of dating... after 25, we call it, "the interview." Tell me that isn't the hardest part of it all.

Is there anyone out there that truly enjoys interviews? (put your hand down, you play too much) I do, when there is a flow of conversation. I've also been lucky enough to have been in both positions (pause, lol). In conversing with peers, its not an easy task. A lot of people get caught up in appearances, and false advertise instead of marketing the actual product being providing. However, there are troubles on both ends of the spectrum. I wanted this to be a simple post, but my intelligence knows nothing about being simple and the only thing short about me is my height. *wink*

Ladies-- (sisters, I love yall but it's time we stop acting like we're perfect...)

One reason we are let down often is because when we are single, we say we want one thing, and go after or end up with the exact opposite. Anyone can say anything, but your walk has to match your walk,(aka actions definitely speak louder than words) so just make sure it matches.

**cues reader to grab popcorn, its getting good**

I am not exempt.(sisters, I called you out, but only through my own self discovery) 

A while ago, I was talking to a girlfriend, and said I didn't want a boyfriend and joked about just needing a pipe layer (yep, I went there). By the time I was done listing the requirements "sir layer of that pipe needed to have", he would be a man, my man. I've been celibate for nearly 2 years and I don't care if it gets to 10 (I do, but flow with me here), I refuse to lower my standards to give some lame 5-7 minutes of fame. I'm a rare treasure, and deserve to be treated no less than that. So- now that I know what I want, I can keep it 300 (yep, I'm a overachiever),  with myself and its a great place to be. Now, I'm not saying it's all roses and calla lilies, once that bar is set girlfriends, don't you dare lower it for anyone.

Sidebar: Brothers, you're on deck. Stay tuned. 

To those of who don't know what you want yet, take your time. We tend to rush to figure out our entire lives. My list for the perfect man, is interchangeable to accommodate different personality types, and you must always keep in mind men are men. You can't demand he take on qualities that are against the very basis he was created upon. Fellas, this applies to you as well.

Fellas-- (I love you, believe me... more than I can express here, but its time...)

I understand some differences between Venus and Mars. I'll keep it simple. Don't always assume the woman can't handle what it is you want to say. Keep it 100 at all times please, some of you are single and not mentally single. Feel me on this, you're single, and concentrating on you- school, work, career, chasing dreams, (kudos, by the way.) If you meet a someone and you haven't opened your mind to the possibility, you're going to drive them away without even realizing it. I've heard some stories of brothers too focused and missing out of special women, and all cause you weren't ready? Nah son, I can't let you go out like that.

Bottom line is this, are we really ever ready? Probably not. All I'm saying brothers is, don't your life right now block your life tomorrow.

Sheesh, now back to the interview. (lol) I'm gonna keep it 100, to me, the shit is boring. You have to ask and answer all these asinine questions, because there is basic information we need to know, but every now and then you end up having a great conversation... and I mean, *Tony the tiger voice*, grrrreat conversation. <<< Find the thing that makes you shine, and strut your stuff! You have to, or someone won't appreciate the art that is you. 

Even though I find it boring as all hell, I mean the shit's like watching friggin paint dry, I don't make it seem boring. Find ways to connect with the person you're sharing information with. And nonverbal communication is so important, I could grab you as you read this and scream, "pay attention!"

I realize the rules change with the different types of venues these days, mainly the internet. There is nothing wrong with this, I'm very close with a couple people I've yet to meet in person. But when the internet is involved, I think you may need to take more time and possibly not rush the meeting in person, it's just the smart thing to do. Just take your time no matter the venue...

What's that ridiculously cliche saying? Good things come to those who wait... I'll be sure to let you all know how that goes. **cracks the eff up**

Keep it somewhere between 100 and 300.


Valentine's Day-sunny or cloudy day

Late night, technically its not Valentine's Day anymore... however, I was able to witness a few different takes on the holiday. First, let me tell you what it means to me.

Valentine's Day is the day of love ♥♥♥... which is rather general... I take it as a day to spread love... to everyone in my life... not just the "mista" in my life, (when there is one). This year, I didn't do too much but think about how much I loved myself for once. Most of my life everyone in my life mattered more than I did. 

I was out to please everyone. I wanted to feel accepted- and wasted some time trying to please people who will never, ever  be pleased with whatever I decide to do because I have to do things my way. (My bad? puh-leeze) So, while many people without a "valentine" were sad, I was like I love myself- more than I ever have. This is a great thing because you'll see it and eventually love me more. **sly chuckle** 

To those of you who felt sad, or alone today... don't sit around feeling sad or scrooge like for whatever reason... okay, I get it, you want to shower someone with love on this special day. Cool. Here we go, this is what you should to to make sure you're ready for next year:

1. Write down things you like about yourself, especially things you know other people notice. 
2. Write down some things you possibly dislike about yourself. 
3. Write down some things you've been told people don't like about you. (I know, you think you're perfect-- I don't give a sh*t, man up and do it)
4. Write down some good stuff about yourself that people may not receive from you off the bat.

Okay- you've done that, your mission is to work on the things you dislike about yourself, look into the not so good things your network has mentioned, and make it a point to improve on them, while finding a way to get people to notice more goodness about you. 

As you realize you're more awesome than you already were, your aura will change and little mess like, America's 3rd most commercialized holiday (aka Christmas pt. 2), not geared toward celebrating one person won't have you down in the dumps trying to ruin everyone else's goodness...AND- it might land you that special someone ☺.

Now- to all my people who are in love, a relationship, or go out of your way to make sure you are never alone on this day... you've got to learn how to be considerate of us single people's feelings. Though, you want to share every detail of what went down on 2/14, here is what you should keep in mind:

If the person you called to dish with sounds aggravated when they answer the phone, be a friend and try to find out what's wrong... if its code blue 214 (aka Valentine's Blues), tell them something nice and uplifting. Hint- might not be the best time to dive into your romantic whatever right through here (NO FLY ZONE, stop it I say)

A friend of mine, recently engaged, sent me the infamous Happy V-day text. I didn't start getting messages til early evening. So- by this hour, I figured I wasn't going to get any... I only sent mine to family members. (remember I was loving ME ♥ today) She asked me what I was doing, and if I did anything today, now she knows of my current non existent love life (this is a totally different post... few posts actually), so I didn't know what the heck she was thinking. I responded to her the straight up truth, I was polishing off my large bottle of moscato leftover from Super bowl weekend, and was planning on cracking open the one I bought for my nightcap. 

Her response, "Oh my god..." <- What. is. that. about? 

It's no secret that I drink,so I was nearly perplexed. Then she asked me if I wanted to know what she did... now I was almost offended, because it was turning into a pity show for me, the single one... I thoroughly enjoyed my holiday, and my moscato (thank you verry much) And, I'm single by choice. 

So in my friendship assessment- she gets an A-, she was considerate but sympathetic without a just cause. 

And, before anyone possibly ponders, well Storm might be jealous... wooo I am so NOT. I know her, and her fiance and too much entirely about the situation... 

I'll sum it up for you, they've been together off and on for a long time, and she was patient for her man.
Love my girl to death, and my boy too... its a beautiful thing when you can watch a man grow into the man he is supposed to be.

HA! So, in this Storm's world... Valentine's day is a sunny day. Hopefully, it will be for all of you soon too. 


Storm ♥

The First Post

I've been contemplating this for awhile now, you know...blogging. I've loved to write since the beginning, so here goes nothing. I guess I'll introduce myself... I am Storm. Someone told me I was a "Perfect Storm" once, after investing time in learning a bit about me. I'm into many things, and I want to do it all... I feel like I need to do it all.

I guess you could say I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge (only in the subjects of my choice of course)

I have a very unique understanding for many things in life, and I've only met a select few that understand my perception... I used to get upset when people didn't understand my logic, (apparently it's only obvious to me)

My loves are people, love, sports,music, men (sorry, I'm honest) I'm up late at insane hours at night, and my brain never really stops running and have decided to share some of this craziness with you... I've posted a poll. I'll write about whatever pops into my head, however as time goes on I want to write about what you want to read about. Email is here on my profile... send me a message with suggestions, topics, feedback, etc. I am also excited about forming a team of writers... so if you want in on this... holla at me.

I'm me, and I refuse to apologize in advance...

I am of many elements... (lol) much like a storm... we shall see what my showers bring

Sincerely, Storm