Hurricane Season

For the longest time, I've sat and wondered what would become of this blog I started a couple years ago...

Tonight, I sit heavy with thoughts of many kinds. Equipped with good music and a very sober mind... a lot more brews at this hour besides coffee... like me...

Storm's brewing...

Reflection is very important to me, and when things don't make sense its often best to just stop for second and reflect. Ah, yea...that's it. Personally, I find it very relaxing. As a fiery lady, its unfortunately easy to get in your own way at times. I suffer from a few ailments, being a severe perfectionist and a firm believer in the theory of the simple are just a couple... recipe for disaster, or perfect makings of a Storm. 

Back in the day when this all started, I was in transition in many areas of life. Transition, if you are constantly seeking growth, is a permanent state. It never really ends. So, I am ALWAYS transitioning to the next level of whatever it is I am working to obtain at that moment. 

I am a bit wiser, (or older as many of you would say), and my idea as to what really matters have taken a more solid shape. But, my main theme throughout my reflection tonight is simple (like me of course), yet extremely profound.

I am happy. And, I don't mean happy like, "I woke up in a good mood today," I mean happy like Tinkerbell and her homegirls rocking out to Beyonce happy. It's a mindstate, a way of life. We sit around and ponder and figure out what we want to make us happy and let me tell you... it doesn't always arrive when you want it, but it if you're lucky and its in your cards, it will arrive when you're equipped with the tools to recognize it and accept it. (Please let that sink in.)

It could be a job, a connection with a person, a combination of the two or numerous other possibilities... (No, I am not sharing...yet) But, once you're there mentally... nothing can derail it. 

So do I have moments where I think the sky is falling? Absolutely, I'm a extremely passionate woman, who has the ability to freak out because I don't only want things to be simple, I want them to be PERFECTLY simple. Needless to say, conflict between these two concepts that were, in my opinion, never to be paired... arises often. 

This reflection came from a couple of recent revelations and conversations. I saw a question posed on a social network that asked if one could truly be happy for an ex. The answers varied, but one comment summed it up completely and perfectly. 

"Being happy for an ex or anyone else can happen regardless of the situation if you are happy with SELF."

I was like damn, I've always wished people the best even if its not with me, but yes... initially there may be a struggle depending on the situation but you have to make sure YOUR happiness in check before you can genuinely be happy for someone else.

In recent talks with someone there is always a negative tone in what's being said. It's one thing to want to be cautious, but its something deeper when you constantly seek the bad out in a person and/or situation. I sit baffled like I am telling a story, and I am happy- the story isn't perfect... but then again to me, having a story to tell at all is perfection in one of its finer hours. :)

Did I mention I am happy? Some will write statuses and will tweet to the high heavens... I'm just going to say it. There don't have to be details, names, or locations... just know that I'm speaking honest words. (Like, when do I not hello!?)

I say that to say, when someone doesn't understand your happiness....don't judge them. Just take a second to understand they aren't happy with something WITHIN. It has nothing to do with you (hopefully). As someone who has self counseled with the aid of the GREATEST of friends, your life is only going to be what you want it to be. Regardless of what happens to us, our reactions draw the path in which we are to follow. If we can tailor our reactions to lead to that happiness we crave deep down in the depths of our souls... then, the map will draw itself. That's definitely how I got here. (Along with some spontaneous decisions and passionate life choices). Easily the greatest decision I've ever made. 

So, as I leave you... I hope you didn't read into the title too much.

Next time someone says, "when it rains, it pours," just stop for a second and think if that's really a bad thing. Not all Storm's are bad. ;)

Sincerely, 

Storm

The trees sway, the wind blows and the birds chirp...

Storms are brewing everywhere... Rock with me for a second.

It isn't often we have an opportunity that we may have missed the first time resurface...

This invokes all sorts of pure, raw emotion...depending on what it is that has come around for the second time. :)

I am a proud opportunist, courtesy of being a hopeless romantic. I make attempts to seize the day any and every chance I get. There are the
rare times where life doesn't allow these moments. Its happened a time or two before.

Some people would be frustrated... (I understand, I'm one of the most impatient people that know)

I've grown to appreciate the timing of everything in life. I believe being ready to accept opportunities at their finest hour makes it that much more enjoyable.

As much as I want to write about where I've been...I've decided it doesn't matter. Know that I am here now- and on a journey that's bookworthy. Some things really happen when you least expect it. When it does happen out of the blue- embrace the possibilities and enjoy the ride.

Miss me? ;)

Sincerely,

Storm

Okay, I haven't been here since July, I've had a bit of wine... (Pinot) So, it's time to let it rip. Now (sips again) beforehand, I have to make a disclaimer. **IF YOU THINK THIS IS ABOUT YOU, I'll pay to get your head examined.**


I truly enjoy writing about these subjects. Though I am inspired by my life, as well as the ones around me, some people are so up their own ass, they think this shit is about them. If I don't directly introduce you to a character, Storm isn't raining about you. 


Well, now that we've got that out of the way. I have something I've wanted to write about for quite some time, and have simply not landed myself in front of my computer with the proper mindset to handle this subject. Looks at my assistant (yes, the wine) and nods. It's time...


Learning to let go...This for many of us is never easy, especially if whatever it is we need to let go is something we still want. People handle this in different ways, most hang on to it until it dies completely, then you want to have it stuffed, so you still keep it in its afterlife. Personally, I've struggled with this. I am a perfectionist, and I have these profound ideals, and I am completely hopeless when it comes to believing in the impossible. I like to break barriers. When someone says, ohhh this is impossible, or this or that can't happen. I take great pride in being the one to say something along the lines of *smirk*

"I did that." 




Many of think this is some horrible thing, man... get rid of whatever it is you clearly aren't supposed to have and let that good ish come in, whatever it may be. Just do it. Swallow that pride, and just do it. If not, you will find yourself wondering why things aren't going your way more often than you need to. In regards to people and relationships, it's a joint effort. Period! Regardless of the magnitude of the relationship. Once it becomes one-sided. Where one's personal goals are more important than yours or the actually survival of the relationship... it's time to go. It hurts, it sucks, you don't always understand it. 


Just say fuck it, and let it go. Chances are that person won't even notice you've decided to move on... that's the part that hurts the most. At least for me it is...


My mom asked me a question today about a grandchild she's wanted for a long time now (she has one, but of course she wants another one, lol) She couldn't have been more wrong about a situation, and she couldn't have asked at a worst time. Kept it simple, set the record straight. Sucked it up and went on to the next thing.


What else, oh, you never want to feel like you wasted a lot of time, because its not something you can get back.... the experience is well worth it, if you learn from it and have it handy for the next time something starts to resemble the crap you've managed to escape. 


**NEWSFLASH: As much as you want to think you can be friends with everyone, you just can't. I've tried, God knows I've tried, hard. It doesn't work with some people, I'm not going into a ton of detail because that's another blog entry in itself, and I want this one to remain kinda short. It's not worth the emotional stress that comes from you trying to figure out and process everything.


And to those of you who believe you can be friends with anyone, you are full of shit, we all don't think like you, and you're not the smartest thing to grace planet earth. Respect it and carry on.


** I am welcoming views and comments on this, post on the blog, or email me, please**


What else is going on right now? hmm... Yes! When you decide that you are ready to do something i.e: love, make sure you are still willing to wait for the right one. Some of us decide we want to do something and end up jumping into whatever with a whoever, that normally doesn't work out... so be careful. Storm is here if you need her, but I'm saying, some things can be avoided. :)


My future is looking quite bright... I'm opening up a bit more. Umm... I've been out of the "love loop" for a long time. So, the whole getting back on the horse is just tedious and bothersome for me, which means I am not rushing anything, with anyone...


Be kind to others in what you do, karma is very real.... nobody signs up to get bit in the ass... 


I loved you then, I love you now, and I'll still love you tomorrow. Thanks for reading!!


Sincerely,
Storm

Confessions of a Storm...Volume: Two

I know its been a very very long time since I've been here. A LOT has happened, but I keep growing and I will not be moved! I hope all is well with everyone... 

We are all gathered here today for a special edition of Confessions of a Storm... since everyone is writing open letters, I am going to write one. I was inspired by some utter fuckery that took place on my way to school. Don't let your babies read this one lol. To those w/churrins Be inspired, and make sure you raise them to value their worth BEFORE anyone else's. 

Here's the skinny... I received a text message last night, and I was asleep. This message did come in during early booty call hours, and it said: 

"What do you have going on this week?" <------ Translation: "I'm trying to come smash when its convenient for me." 

I saw the message this morning, and sent a response saying hello and that I was asleep when the message was sent. Now for the record, I'd been contemplating some action up until this point, but wasn't sure and was looking to make the best decision for me. 

It's been roughly six and a half years since we've been anything but friends...(so he's a throwback) granted I've lived far away for a lot of those years until now. Regardless he's got some wires crossed and he doesn't have to untangle them because I am cutting them! TODAY!

A convo via text message ensued, while I was on my way to class... granted when I started driving my response time slowed down, in an attempt not to DIE while driving. This thirsty ass negroid (aka waay too pushy, damn near moody) started sending each message twice and putting on the caps lock in his messages... 0_O (tell em why u mad son? PUH-LEEZE)

I responded to all the messages, and got to the campus and got a message that said he felt like I was avoiding him, and accused me of playing games...(book coming soon: The Jumpoff who cried Boo)

WTF? *record scratch* *tires screech* If I was avoiding you, we wouldn't be having this conversation. And I don't have time or need to play games for a few reasons, but the most important one here is simply this, if I wasn't trying to be bothered, I simply wouldn't be bothered. I am not obligated to do a Delonte West thing (some of yall might not get this) I am not your girlfriend, lover, or wife. *checks for rings* *double checks who pays my bills*

Now- I became beyond pissed here because I was walking to class responding to this hot gah-bage... and my phone keeps dinging... I got into class and got another one that said of what's good now... angrily I informed Mr. Thirsty I was in class, that's what the fuck is up... the messages stopped. 

Now-- This is not a roasting session for Mr. Thirsty-- his open letter is actually quite short. And I am woman enough to accept responsibility for my actions. A long time ago, I treated him better than I should have. I gave the jumpoff, boyfriend treatment when I was around. Granted, I didn't violate the rules of the game, I knew where I stood, there wasn't a commitment of any kind, I just don't sleep around. But to sum it up- yup homie got maad interest before making the now required investments.

Does this mean he could possibly be in shock now? Now, that I am not so eager to clear my schedule for some shit that will only benefit me for an hour or two? Now that I've chosen to let him know where he falls on my to do list off rip... versus playing games with him? I don't know, nor do I give a flying farfanoogin. (Yuuup!) 

So as promised. The open letter to Mr. Thirsty, formally known as my jumpoff

Sir Thirsty: 

Despite knowing this is mostly my fault for allowing you to think you are at some level of importance, its time you recognize a few things.

Look up the definition of a jumpoff, I'll sum it up for you, you have no clout, preference, VIP status of any kind, or level of priority in my life. This means should anything go down, it will solely be because I want it to, and I will have to fit U into my schedule, only as I see fit. If I don't tag tapping that with some sort of importance... then chances are you won't hear from me. And I won't be entertaining any of your demanding requests. (ITS NOT ABOUT YOU) 

Aka: You call no shots! So, texting me twice and typing in all caps, knowing damn well you normally don't, makes you look parched! Stop it! I expect that kind of behavior only from the most basic bitches on earth... you take basicosity to a whole new level when you're a man doing it. This desperate behavior you are mistaking for being persistent is an extreme turn off and to be frank, its getting on my nerves. (SIT YO ASS DOWN)

I find it utterly hilarious that upon me returning to the same state, somehow you think your membership is still valid. It's been years, despite us being "friends" now it seems clear that you're "preserving our friendship" for your own selfish reasons. Your pass was revoked long ago brother, and your sorry application to renew it has been denied. The requirements have changed and you're no longer qualified. 

Lesson learned: If it isn't reciprocated, you're doing the most! DON'T DO IT!!!

It is important kiddies that we always respect the game while playing the games we play. Should you decide to play a game, make sure you understand the role YOU are going to play in it. That's key... if you're gonna to disrespect yourself, leave the game out of it. Though, I'd rather you respect both... 

Figure out who you are, and what makes you happy. Set the standards, and don't conform for anyone... I understand we will have to compromise, but you do that when the compromise will produce a better result. 

Sincerely, 

Storm

It's been too long...

As I've been meaning to post for a LONG ASS TIME... my brain is officially backed up beyond belief... I hope this reaches you in good spirits. Stay tuned, it's going down...

The makings of this Storm...

...are the situations in my life that ultimately contribute to me being me. I hope all of you are absolutely wonderful by the way.**wink** Quick recap live from Storm's world: I'm closing a rehabilitative chapter in my life, and finally (yes, finally) entering what I like to call Phase 2 in life. The stage where everything that goes on now, shapes the future. I've had some dreams, goals and aspirations and I can now say the ball is rolling in the right direction. I am relocating (again) to where, honestly, my heart has been the entire time. Home. 


The main thing I hate about moving is saying goodbye of course. I almost cry every time! It's as if every memory rushes like blood to the front of my brain and replays with enhanced emotions right before my eyes, and it just destroys me. You know how your mom used to let you bring one toy with you, and you'd struggle to decide OR try to take them all? Ha! That's how I am with my friends, and I'm rather close with most of you guys so it really is hard to leave. Unfortunately for many of my friends, they know what I'm talking about and this isn't the first time I've left or returned.

I tell ya what, I'm staying in place for a decent amount of time due to plans I've already made. (I know, some of you all are shaking your head) I will... cause there is a comfort level in stability that I've had to re-establish in my life, and I know where they are now... so I won't tamper with what must just be.

I am very excited, and going into this next life phase with my mental in order, complete and absolute order. (Iron clad!!!!!!!!) It feels amazing. My chop-a-ho scissors are still out though... just incase I've missed a few snakes in the grass, ya dig? Though there's been some Andrew's and Katrina's in my life... I don't regret any of it, because you learn to ask why is this happening, and you look forward to seeing the bigger picture. Clearly, the world is too large to think life as a human will be black and white, cut and dry. It simply isn't going to happen... but I do believe you can come up for with a decent idea of what you want your life to be and take it from there. I guess that's called taking control... to often do we decide to be a victim of circumstance. I know life happens, and something really are unexpected, when that happens, respond accordingly, and move on.

Getting to this point leaves me feeling energized beyond belief, grateful for all you special people, humble, satisfied-yet still hungry (ambitious)... and pretty much at a very high point of inner peace. (I feel like I'm standing at the top of a mountain overlooking some insane view, who wants to go?)

I love spreading sunshine, hopefully there's enough in your forecast.

I'm not going to go on too long here, but here's what to expect in the near future... Confessions of a Storm, vol.2 **laughs** My iPod's shuffle mode is kicking my ass right now. hahaha!! (in other words, saying what I want to say, but definitely won't in this next blog entry.) I'll say enough, just enough to get your waters churning with thought. Trust me!

In the meantime, if there is anything you want to know about me, or have a topic you would want me or possibly a guest writer to blog about... feel free to leave a comment or email me here: sincerelystorm@gmail.com

I normally don't do this but- I gotta give a HUGE shoutout to the following:
Dizzle the Great! You're the greatest a friend a girl could ever ask for!! <3
Ray-Ray!! The adventures shall continue! I really want the cartoon drawn for the Adventures of Ray-Ray & Fizzle (well Auntie Fizzle lol)
Sis- Are you really ready for this? I mean really ready? lol There is no turning back at this point, and umm if u running I need to know now! (lmao) they.are.not.ready. **warning**
Neo- (yes, from the Matrix, lol) Thanks for always being you, it's extremely appreciated... and rather refreshing. You need to hold a clinic and take these fools to school... smh!

Sincerely,
Storm

When it rains, it pours...

...it's true...however, I've learned to expect the unexpected... so many things don't shock me anymore. I've recently had a bunch of relationships take a new shape. Also, I've had to completely sever ties with dead weight relationships, and I'm not finished... you can't be a priority in my life if I'm a mere option in yours. It's 2010, and to be frank, I ain't fucking around. *Jordan shrug* Why you ask?

Because I've taken the time in my life to do me, make improvements, and get in touch with my Star* Player to make sure what YOU get is an accurate representation of  me. No bullshit, no gimmicks, no false advertisement, (whack ass game I expect you to fall for). During this time, I've been able to set some standards, and control my emotions... notice I didn't say rules...I don't play by the rules, so I don't expect you to... all clients are seen on a case by case basis, yup I'm a doctor, you can trust me. *cracks up*

I've learned to appreciate the thunderstorms...

Sidenote: many catastrophic storms are tracked and most often seen before they hit, I pay attention, and check my weather forecasts regularly. Do you?

...if I have to endure some rainy days, and cloudy skies for the sunshine I love too much... I'm going to do it. I'll complain, get mad, and maybe cry- but the end result will always be growth... once you accept that something good can always come out of something bad... the possibilities are endless. ☺

Raindrops for thought...


I'm in a place in life where I'm not going to get caught up in what is or isn't... I appreciate the concept of possibility. They are endless naturally, if you just let them be. When you meet me, that's all I'm going to do...is let them be. I'll take it a day at a time and ultimately you will decide what role you play in my life or vice versa... believe me, there are people right now who will read this and shake their head because they had to find out the hard way... or, they just don't know what to expect anymore. (personal satisfaction is oozing right now)


Just be honest, you know what... ugh! Demanding honesty isn't enough anymore... I can keep it 300 all day, but I'm finding many of you aren't ready for it... I dumb it down and give you 150, cause you aren't ready for 151 (yup like that Bacardi)-300. **record scratch** [if I have to dumb it down for you, this probably isn't going to work so... snip, snip] I'm just trying to enjoy life and make the best of it. You know, kick it with people who mean the world to me, maybe bust a two-step on some cruise ships, you know the good life. You think I wanna be two stepping with scumbags and scalawags on the cruise ships?? Nah, son. I'm good. (lol)


Lightening strike...BOOM!(take notes here)
Women lie, Men lie... but there is a simple equation to live by... your actions MUST = your words, or you ain't saying shit, and really should just shut up. (I won't listen, trust me) I've set my standards, and they won't be waived for anyone because they have some of what is being asked of them. Some and sum are two different things, and I'm looking for the sum that is the equation of  parts making a whole...

Some things I value too much to be dealing with the "< me's" (less than's if you forgot lol) : **in no particular order**
MYSELF-oh yea I know what I'm working with, bringing to the table, etc.
My time- I can't get it back, and if I'm wasting it, I'm not giving it to the right people.
My trust-break it, and let me tell you... it's WURK to get it back.(very good reasons for this)
And of course my heart- *takes it out, checks and puts back in treasure chest*

Now playing Chess, the life edition... protect the queen at all costs. It's just not smart to use your heart as bait hoping (sigh) to hook what you want in relationships with people (all levels, FAMILY INCLUDED).

Remember that water stirring I was talking about... (lawd) the water is getting warmer, and the water is beginning to flow rapidly... oh the possibilities. I'm so free... I'm so high.. I ain't ever coming down... on this thing we call life...

When it rains, it pours... but there's still room under my umbrella (ella, ella, eh) and it does stop raining eventually. ♥♥♥

Sincerely,
Storm